Let's face it, we all f*ck up. Whether it's in business, relationships or trying to make soufflè - making mistakes is part of being human. We are perfectly imperfect, yet we continue to strive for perfection. Well, perfection isn't real and we perpetually chase that pie in the sky that actually ends up all over our face (all these dessert references are making me hungry).
Failure can be challenging and messy like a bad break up (wait, that's failure too), but it doesn't have to be. We build so much shame around rejection, yet it actually takes more courage to 'give it a go' than it does to avoid it all together. We need to learn how to embrace failure and make it our friend, so we don't miss out on amazing opportunities.
We are independent business owners, entrepreneurs and freelancers - we take mad risks; we wouldn't be in business if we didn't. But, how much are those risks costing you? How much time and energy do you waste ruminating, bagging yourself out and feeling like shit?
Buddha tells us that pain is inevitable and suffering is optional, but when it comes to failure, why do we choose suffering? Even after we are rejected or criticised, we continue to pick at our failure wounds.
Here are three hot tips to go from f*ck up to f*ck yea:
1. Understand that "I FAILED" is a lot less scary than "I AM A FAILURE".
Whatever we choose to put after the words, "I AM..." will shape our identity. When you wrap failure so tightly around who you are that you feel like you're choking, it's time to reassess how much of you is actually a part of the mistake. Of course we want to put our hearts into what we're doing, but that doesn't mean our identity has to be attached to the outcomes.
2. Our greatest teacher is our last mistake.
We need to f*ck up in order to succeed. How will we ever improve if we don't make mistakes? We can't. We need to fail in order to reflect, assess and learn from our f*ck ups. Otherwise, you make the same mistake over and over again and pray for a different result; that's actually called insanity. So change the way you think about failure and it won't hurt so damn much.
3. Practice good emotional hygiene.
I mentioned picking at our failure wounds. When we sustain a failure injury, we insist on making ourself feel 10 times worse in the process. Emotional hygiene is about putting Band-aids on your failure booboos. Revive your self-esteem by congratulating yourself on 'giving it a go' and get excited about how much you're actually learning.
Celebrate your failures. Call me crazy, but it's a whole lot better than kicking yourself when you're down.